Feature: Different women, same struggle

Maricel is worthless

 Maricel (not her real name) woke up early that day.  She had to leave earliest while her common-law husband is still asleep, else she might earn herself another absence from work. She had enough reasons to be absent, looking at her swollen right eye, no longer black, lighter now, like “ube” purple.  Thanks to those ice cubes she managed to save after the entire ice bucket landed on her face the night before.

Her common-law husband, who works in a construction firm was already drunk and still finishing his second bottle of  Emperador when she arrived after a day’s work as a manicurista in a parlor. She tagged along her three-year old son. Good thing her son was already sleeping and the beating happened just a few minutes after she placed him in the “lantay” in the next room, divided by a wall made of paper crates.

The ice bucket landed on her face when she reminded her husband the rent which was two months due.

“Ingon siya dili daw nako sya angayan sultian kay kahibaw na kuno sya, si kinsa kuno ko nga wala koy abot, parlor2x daw ko kuwang ra sa pamilite (He said he should not be reminded anymore because he knows already, who am I to remind him when I am not earning anything, working in the parlor yet it’s not even enough to cover my fare),” Maricel said.

She said her partner started beating her a month after she gave birth to her son and almost every time he comes home after payday.

“Kay miundang man kos akong computer nga course pagmabdos nako.  Sige ko niyag ingon wakoy abot, iya ko dapatan og maglagot siya (I stopped my Computer course when I got pregnant.  He always tell me I am not earning anything and he beats me when he’s mad)," Maricel said.

That day she woke up was the day she finally decided to report to the police.

Josephine, the controlled in control

Josephine (not her real name), on the other hand, is a manager of an appliance center with branches in the provinces.  She leads a sales team, grinding daily to reach a quota that earned her Outstanding Sales Officer in three consecutive quarters.  She guides her team well and listens to them, even domestic problems.

“A happy member means a happy team that will certainly hit our target bull’s eye,” Josephine said.

A graduate of a private sectarian university, she had one of the best grades as Accountancy passer during her time.

Josephine wears the brightest smile by day..

But as dusk approaches, she dreads going home to her house in Casili, Consolacion.  In her house, she is not the Josephine, strong and in control, but the wife that trembles the moment she steps in.

She and her husband Ronnie (not his real name) are married for eight years but never had a child yet.

Josephine said they were trying at first but on the second year, also the second time she had miscarriage, he started having flings. 

“He had an affair with the girl next door, then their janitress, then even our laundrywoman, and when I confronted he will tell me, I have no right,” Josephine said.

Ronnie tells her she should focus on herself so that she could give him a child instead of following him around. And most of the time, he comes home drunk or if not, just mad at the sight of her.

“He keeps on telling me I’m worthless, I’m barren,” Josephine said.

For five years now, she concealed everything. For how long she’s going to take this, she said until she can. She was already advised by her friends and even her Human Resource Manager to have everything recorded, but she just kept silent. 

“I don’t want to go out and seek help, that is too shameful. My team looks up to me,” she said.

These are just among the stories of women who are experiencing abuse in their lives.

Real Stories

Leah Quintana, Information Officer of Department of SocialWelfare and Development (DSWD-7), said the stories of both women are common. First, it is a fact that women who are not professionals and below poverty line are, commonly abused.  

Leah Quintana, DSWD 7 Information Officer 

“Maricel is among the majority of the low-income, non-professional women in the country who are experiencing abuse,” Quintana said.

According to a data from the National Demographic Health Survey there 65 percent of married women who experienced abuse from their partners. Most of the type of abuse are physical. 

"Deeper root is economic abuse," said Quintana.This happens when the male is earning more than the female or is the only one working.

Quintana said Maricel belongs to the 30 percent that sought assistance, either from the police, barangay or relative.

She said one in five women aged 15 to 49 experienced physical violence since age 15.  There is 6 percent who experienced physical violence prior to the study and seven percent in the last 12 months. Six percent of the type of abuse is sexual, majority is physical, and almost equally plenty are those experiencing emotional abuse.

“In fact 65 percent among married experienced physical abuse,” Quintana said.

 Interventions

DSWD-7 has a facility for women in need of immediate refuge or a place where they can recover and be healthy to join again the community. Called as “The Haven”, the facility located in Barangay Labangon, Cebu City is currently housing 41 abused women recovering from their perpetrators.

Josephine on the other hand, is one among the many women who are educated and professional who opted to be silent. 

"Yes, abuse does exists among the professional women, they know the law but unfortunately they choose to be silent,” according to Rosemarie Salazar, focal person for Women and Family Department of DSWD-7.  

They are more concerned with their reputation than their own welfare," she said.

This sector is encouraged to speak out.  Human resource personnel of private firms must be on the lookout for female employees who may be victims of abuse.

DSWD has a range of services that can be availed by women who are victims of abuse or those cases under Violence Against Women or Republic Act 6949. 

Immediate responders are the social welfare officers assigned in the localities as part of the community-based services. Center-based personnel are those in the various centers assigned to look after the abused and potentially abused women.

An additional feature is the soon to be adapted Informed Care Services, which directly deals with the perpetrators of violence against women. This program will attempt to understand the perpetrator’s background and discover why he has that  kind of behavior. Once the  victim is free and separated from the perpetrator, chances are the latter will be in a relationship again and will commit the same mistakes and the cycle continues.

Women’s Month falls in March but it doesn’t mean that the advocacy against violence against women ends.  

There are still plenty of Maricels and Josephines out there who are seeking help.  Some may be loud, some may be silent. Open your eyes and your heart wider.